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The first night..

We turned onto our street and saw that Nik was JUST making it toward her house because the bus was late. I take it as a good thing..He had less time wondering what the heck we were doing and why we weren't at the bus stop. He only spent a short 2 minute walk with our neighbor.

Bill and I had decided that he would tell Nik the news. Saying the words "She is not here anymore" felt too painful for me..I would be able to talk about the experience though. Nik sat down on the front steps waiting for us to get out of the car so we could go inside. He kept looking at my face, which looked puffy from tears. "What?" Nik said.."Is she sick?" pointing to my belly.

We walk inside the house and Bill told him the news on the couch. Nik bawled like I had never seen before. I was worried. He spent his whole life ONLY with her..She was very much like a sister to him. Someone to love, share time with, be jealous of, be annoyed with, do things with ,..good and bad.

At bedtime, we looked at her pictures and videos..I chose to read him a simple story instead of having him read to me. Our cat was lingering in the hall, which I found odd for him. Typically when we head upstairs, he is making his way downstairs where he will spend the next 12 hours of his day. Eventually I gently encouraged him to come into the room..He hesitated and slowly walked in, looking up at the bed. Finally he jumped up to spend a good 30 minutes with us! Looking back, I felt like he knew what was going on and wanted to be there for us. It was truly...comforting.

That night, and most days after, Bill and I would sift through all our old pictures and videos to look at her. I can honestly say how thankful I am to be able to look back on all those old times and memories with her. It has been extremely helpful to heal.

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