My role with my Mom has decreased now that her radiation treatment is over and she is able to get around better. She still isn't able to drive. She still has some pain when she over does it. Her numbers are good.
Not much to report.
I brought her home from her monthly oncology appointment in August and will continue to do that each month.
Before cancer, we would talk 1 or 2x a week and I'd send her snap chats when convenient. Now I call her almost daily to check in and send her more frequent snaps to entertain her. Pictures mean everything at this time so I will continue to take more..I am cutting back on my Facebook postings so I don't show up sooo often. She thanked me earlier this week for keeping her so up to date on our life since her life is mostly medication, appts, paperwork.
My mom and dad came by on Labor Day for a little visit. I took her to Target. This was her first trip to a store since JUNE. She wanted to pick up a few things that she didn't want my dad to attempt to get. She also had to mention how she feels like such a burden for having to rely on other people to do things. I assured her, once again, that she is not a burden and I was happy to be out with her.. Feeling like a burden is how she has felt since being diagnosed. I've read how common that is with situations like that. I try to prevent her from feeling that.
Our new bedroom addition was finally complete the last week in August. Me being the most impatient person ever had SUCH a hard time trying not to send her pictures of it. If you know me personally, it could take me YEARS to decorate a room. That is not my thing. Surprisingly I had mostly everything all lined up: a headboard, new nightstands, lamps, curtains, plants, rugs. HOW AMAZING AM I! 👏
My mom is the biggest cheerleader you could ever meet. Seriously. I could give her the ugliest painting and she would truly admire it. As a teen, I always found that trait embarrassing that I would roll my eyes. She was just always so overly appreciative and cheery. As an adult, that is one of the traits I admire most and try to emulate with everyone.. I want others to feel good and appreciated like she makes me feel. So...I wanted to see her reaction to our new little addition as she would finally be able to be strong enough to go up our steep stairs. I made sure I watched her in front like I would Nikolas when I want to see his reaction. She walked into Nik's old room, and smiled at the new sky light commenting on how nice it must be to have the morning light coming through. Knowing me, she gasped at the new rug on the floor. Rugs are something I skip out on usually. We haven't finished that room yet. As she walked closer to my much larger bedroom, she stopped and said something along the lines of This is it, the big moment. She walked in and her mouth dropped as she saw the trey ceiling, big double window straight ahead. Sunshine (her favorite). She marveled over our new bedset which sat between another 2 windows with rugs on each side. "THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL, DIANA" and when she saw our 14 ft long walk in closet, well, her reaction was even better.
My life is truly bittersweet right now. On one part of my life, I have such great JOY as I watch my 5 year old son try new things in life. On the other part of my life, I watch my mother living her life like it's her last time. I am in the middle of them both watching the happiest and saddest moments with my very own eyes. This is a feeling I have never felt at once.
You just never know when your last moment will be. Or when your life could change in an instant.