Mom's Birthday Week
My mom is still not driving. She hasn't feel confident or strong enough to head out. I respectfully give her the time she needs. She says she will try to run her first set of errands this week as she does feel strong enough for that. That is a good first step.
My dad brought her by my house Sunday night so I could bring her to big appointment Monday after some clients. After spending a few nights at her house, it was nice to have her back here while hubby was away and she could live a day in my life.
She walked to the bus stop with us for the first time commenting on what a nice beautiful walk it was to walk in the leaves and feel the sun on her skin. I notice she talks aloud about the little moments in life that so many of us forget to appreciate. I slowed down to walk with her to soak it in. I am aware that when you have a stage 4 diagnosis, life is recognized more as a gift. As a young 30 something year old, I tend to forget how lucky I am to be alive and full of energy, youth. Death always seems so far away, almost like it will never happen.
I drove her to her appointment and headed back home since she would be there about 4 hours. This is a big deal appointment. She hasn't had any imaging done to see how the cancer has progressed. "How do you feel, Mom?" I asked. This is one of my favorite questions with clients, and here I am asking my mom in a different way. She mentioned how she is curious to see what has been happening with her treatment, how it does seem to have shrunk a bit in some place..Some pain she had in her neck wasn't as strong. Fingers crossed. We will know the results NEXT MONDAY when I bring her back for that.
Since she was going to be getting out after my son gets home from school, it would be too late to drive her home. She would be spending another night at our house which was extremely helpful. I also wouldn't have to bring him to my night time client's house.
After we ate dinner, my mom began cleaning up the table, the floor and putting dishes away...another indicator that she is doing better. My son came up to me telling me his mouth felt weird. I have been keeping an eye on his loose tooth for the last 1-2 weeks. I asked him to open up..and sure enough, he had lost his very first tooth! I gasped "You LOST your tooth!!!! How exciting!!!! Do you know where it is?" He did not know where it was and became very quiet. "The tooth fairy won't come now!" I assured him the tooth fairy would in fact be coming..I would write a quick letter explaining what had happened. When I was done, I went to go look for him.. He was sitting there on the couch petting our cat to help himself feel better. I had a proud mom moment. He was utilizing a skill I had taught him, how comforting animals can be. Side note: I am trying hard with all aspects of our home to not model food as comfort/reward/treat. We talked about it.
Looking back, I of course felt sad...for how my husband really does miss out on ALOT. He was able to call us right away, but again, he wasn't here to experience it. I also felt really happy that my mom was HERE for a big moment in his life. I am so thankful that they live so much closer to us. I am so thankful that these moments with us will give her a big boost for her health's sake. I believe that.
On Tuesday morning, I was supposed to have 3 clients in a row..and every single one of them CANCELED. It was actually perfect timing. It was very rare for all 3 to cancel like that. I believe things like that happen when you need it. We were just given the gift of time together, mom and me. After we brought my son to the bus stop, we came back home.
I wanted to surprise my mom by having her go to a store near my house that sells Montilio's cakes by the slices. If you know me, I am not the most thoughtful person in ways like this...I pulled into the parking lot and told her she was coming in with me to pick out a slice or two to have on her big birthday Wednesday, when I wouldn't be able to. I wanted to do something a little different, and did not have much hope that my dad would, honestly. She picked out a triple chocolate slice and a mocha chocolate slice. She left the store saying how she felt really loved by this little surprise idea. We then proceeded to head to a store that I originally thought I would be going to after I dropped her home, but now with my client's canceling, we went together.
I fetched her a cart a few minutes later. She hasn't ventured out into many stores because the walking would be too much for her at that point in time. She is beginning to head out more though! We shopped and headed back to her house where she made me a lunch..and she wanted to share a slice of cake with me, secretly, before my dad wakes up. Side note: He is struggling with food addiction and using food as comfort. He would eat the cake if he knew where it was located. No shame. This is hard for me to see. This is a trigger I feel we don't talk enough about in society.
My dad woke up and thanked me for helping them out with her appointment. I forget how it came up, but I told him how his food addiction is like a drug addiction. His memory is getting so bad..I blame it on the lack of care for himself with poor food choices, poor sleep, no exercise etc. I don't think he heard me. He doesn't want to hear me.
I came home and filmed one of the best zumba classes ever.
Today is my mom's birthday. We sent her a video and will call her later. We will be celebrating this weekend when hubby gets home from his 4 week time away.