I marched right over to the phone to call back that animal center to say we would be on our way. Bill came downstairs wondering what the heck was going on with me. "It's time, Bill..It's time..She needs to be without pain. This is it." Bus pick up for Nik was arranged with a neighbor thankfully.
We gathered up her harness and leash for her to wear and made a drive..Bill seemed impatient because there was a TON of traffic. I told him how it just meant that we would have extra time with her. She was sohappy with her head out of the window..I was uncomfortable though as she kept resting on my pregnant belly. I told her how much she meant to me and what a joy she has been in our life etc...on and on..When we were about 1 mile from the center, I started bawling again..This would be it..
When we walked inside the center, she did exactly as she has the last year at the vet, she had an accident on the floor..just blood this time. We apologized for that...They were quick to comfort and say they would be fine picking it up...and how they felt sorry for us. She was just so excited and panting that I almost felt in denial about what we were doing..."They all do this..in the end.." they said.
We go in a room in the back corner of the building and wait to be seen. We were gently told what to expect. She peed again in the room..Luckily I found some paper towels in the cupboard to clean it and wipe her so we wouldn't get additional blood on us. The doctor comes in, asks if we are ready. "yes, we told her how we felt and had our moment with her." we said.
Bill had already picked her up to help calm her down..Her panting had stopped. I stood there forehead to forehead with her as I would usually do with her..Then I moved back only a few inches caressing her sweet white face.."Be at peace...It's ok girl." I said. I was the last thing she saw. That's how she would have wanted it. She loved everyone in our house..but I was her person. A pet person would truly understand what I mean by that.
We walked out of the building with just her leash and harness. It was hard to believe that just an hour ago, she was in the car with us, so full of life..and now it was just the two of us.
"We did the right thing," We kept repeating to each other. Then we would convince ourselves as we went over the changes that had transpired in the last week. I knew that I never took any moment with her for granted so when she gave me the true sign, I would be quick to take her. As much as I miss her and would have liked another day with her, it wasn't about me. To live a life without pain is what she needed and what I would give to her.
To be continued...